Monday, July 26, 2010

And so today. . .

Yesterday, I poured my heart out.  I typed a blog page full of my sadness and complaints. 

but don't look for it here. . . because it remains unpublished. 

Sometimes one must put thoughts into words and give voice to feelings.  And so I did. 

Today, it is back to me, Sorta.

I still have a lingering sadness about me.  A mild depressive state.  Is there anything really wrong in my life. . . nothing life threatening.  Just stressors that in a year will be over, five years a memory and in 15 years forgotten. 

I will say this, in 1 year I hope to work less.  No more 130 hours in 2 week time.  Yes, that is how much I work.  69-70 hours one week ad 60-62 the next and then start over.  I think this is what depresses me.  No time to just be.

The lesson I am learning.  Appreciation of time.  Stop wishing your life away.  Be happy for the quiet.  Enjoy just being without having to do or go. 

And even bigger. . . Prayer. 

I stopped praying.  I stopped meditating.  I started thinking I could do it by myself.  And look what I created.  God, did not do this to me.  He simply got out of my way as I asked and let me have my way.  And now he waits.  Waits for me to get out of the way, hand over the reins.  I know this will work.  I know I will be able to rest if I do, so why don't I? 

Okay God,      HELP!  and thank you. 

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

905 pictures

There are 905 pictures on my card - that was before the last performance.  I have to sit down with my lap top and upload pictures. 

I live in Topeka, Ks.  Home of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church which holds an annual 5 day Fiesta.   http://spotted.cjonline.com/galleries/index.php?event=9248  here is a link to Fiesta Mexican 2010 on cjonline our local newspaper.  If you go to the gallerie for Ballet Folklorico 2010 page 4 you will see my older daughter.  She is the one in the white jalisco dress. 

Everynight the cops push the crowds out.  They line the street in on their motorcylces with bike and foot cops behind.  I love this part of the night.  It is really cool and I clap along with all the other people in my parents yard.  So. . . my little brother, whom I adore, decided to make it even better.  He loves music and always sets up speakers and music every night for the enjoy of those in the yard. 

He played "Bad Boys" from the TV show COP's  and it was awsome!!!!  The cops loved it and are eagerly awaiting notification of the posting of the videos (we did it the last 3 nights) on YouTube.  My daugher already has night one on her face book.  My brother has my SCD card from my camcorder and will post the last night video.  . 

I will up load links and still pictures soon!!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

As the End Date Grows closer. . .

With presser foot frimly to the floor I steadfastly and earnestly sew on.  I can see the target date fast approaching.  Progress is being made, But. . . will I make it?

YES!  I say, Yes.  For I have been here before. I can and I will persevere and meet the goal head on and emerge the Victor once again.  For I am Woman, Mother, Wife, Lover, and Victory is my name!

I will take pictures tomorrow and post this weekend - I hope.  I have already handed over some of the completed costumes I am just down the final few.  Panic threatens to overwelm me but I have thus far managed to force the panic down with self assurances that I will get this stuff done!!!

I am filled with projects for the rest of the year.  Of course there will be the girls Halloween costumes.  And then I want to work on some blouses for myself.  I also want to make some pillows for the living room and some for the bedrooms.  I want to use some of scraps to make pot holders for the church.  And I need to make a dress for a teacher for next years Cinco de Mayo. 

Have a great week!!!